3rd day le..haiz..

haiz...now is almost 2 o`clock le..i still the same..still hope she will back to me..haiz..i just finish read all those history msg when me n her chat at msn..the 1st day we chat till the day we break..from 16th april till 13rd october..haiz..my mood going down again n down n down again..i really lost..1st time lost like this..she really perfect for me..she can control me..but after we break..i say i wan control myself..duwan out till late late..but i didt do it..today i out almost whole day..she didt control..i lost control..i really wan she come back to me..control me back..i out almost whole day..but i not happy at all..my mood was down..my smile was fake..i wan she care bout me..i`m a big baby..i`m easy to cry..i`m easy to get hurt..my heart really soft..but my love really strong..i`m very loyal..cynthia teh xiao tying..i hope you come back to me..i really hope..i know is hard to you..but can we try..try to start again..haiz..i really hard to let you go..you really give me the feel that i looking for..everytime i hug you..i feel like very safe..you let me feel very special..but now you go le..i feel like lost in darkness jungle..i`m very scare..when you love sum1 is hard..when you wan forget sum1 is more hard..i really duno how to forget you..i really duno..my mind n my heart cant let you go..sorry..stop here 1st..i cant continue write..my eyes is raining again..almost everytime i think back..i sure cry de..haiz..